My Next Pet

Fainting Goats. This is a great demonstration of the virtues of selective breeding. Some redneck down south discovered that when his goats got scared, they temporarily became paralyzed and fell over, all four legs splayed out somewhat comically. And to his good fortune, this breed of goat also was meatier, so not only was it entertaining, it floated better in water so was less likely to drown. Ok, I made the last part up, but here's a true fact: some shepherds keep a fainting goat in their flock so that in the unfortunate event a wolf appears, at least the sheep make it away safely (or at least that's the theory). I suppose there's a religious analogy here: maybe sinners exist so that the Devil will be preoccupied with them while the saved make it to pergatory and beyond. Are there gates to Purgatory? And if Peter's hanging at the Gates of Heaven, I wonder who you get at Purgatory. Maybe Saint Francis of Assissi or Mel Gibson. Wouldn't that suck if one of your buddies was literally "scary ugly" and actually made the goat faint just by looking at them. Tough on the self-esteem. I'm going to go faint into bed now.