What did the Impatient Italian Chef...

...say to the Iranian cleric?

How many times I a tol' ya? Come an' eat.

(Meta: works better orally. Probably needs a better setup, too.)

Trail Running Shock Absorbers

I was running down the steep side of the red trail when I experienced another joy of running on he trails: hopping down from rocks. There are boulders 3, 4 feet high that you can run around down a ramp but I chose to hop down them instead. When my foot made contact with the ground my leg instinctively absorbed the weight in a smooth almost hydraulic compression. I picture the force applied as a logarithmic curve: steep at the outset, tapering off as I finish the step. What was also cool about the step was that it was at the end of my run when my legs were all flush with lactic acid and I could barely keep them pumping up the hill. But it seems like a steep downhill is enough to convince them to find a fast twitch muscle or two to keep me from eating it.

Better than a lap dance

It costs about 15 euros to take the tram from the Chamonix valley to the top of the Aguille du Midi, a change of over 2800 meters taking you to about 3800 meters in less than 10 minutes. The change in scenery is abrupt. Below, the French mountain town with fresh baguettes, stone houses with those oh so French shutters, hardcore gear stores, and groceries where you're not out of place in your climbing harness ordering pate (true story). Above, the white expanse of the Valle Blanche glacier surrounded by jagged peaks quietly staring right back at you. Yeah, a lap dance wouldn't leave you nearly as breathless (if nothing else because of the 30% decrease in oxygen concentration).

More pictures here.

You know, he wouldn't sprain his ankle so much...

...if he wasn't so heel bent on running fast.

Why doesn't Henry VIII drive Hummers?

Because he'll only ride in Tudor vehicles.